Why Is Making New Friends So Hard
- Posted by Leigh Drogen
- on August 1st, 2012
I’m not one of those people that has 1,000,000 friends, never have been, never will be. I’m definitely not the person everyone calls to see what’s going on this weekend, and I don’t command the attention of everyone when I walk into a room. Some people are like that, I’m not, and I’m perfectly fine just the way I am. I’m mostly the quiet guy at the party keeping the attention of one girl in the corner.
But I’ve got to say, I am completely clueless about how to make and keep new friends in my late 20’s, and that I am certainly not happy with.
I’ve always had a close set of friends wherever I’ve been at every age, somewhere between 5-7 people. Beyond that and it’s really touch and go. I’m not great at staying in touch on a regular basis with a lot of people.
In high school you have your classes and sports teams where you generate those close bonds. College is similar, except for me it was mostly drinking, surfing, and chasing girls. But after that it all changes. I obviously don’t work for a large corporation where I’m in and around the same people every day, my team at Estimize is 4 right now. It will be 7 soon, but you get the point. Even StockTwits, or Geller Capital had headcounts in the location I worked under 10.
I play hockey in a great men’s league and have made “friends” there. But I’m not really sure if I can call them good friends. I’m not really sure what that means anymore, or if you can develop deep friendships in your late 20’s. Can you? They are great guys, but sometimes it just feels a little superficial. We go out drinking after some games, we go to Ranger games together, but it’s just not the same.
I’ve met other guys through some of my close friends, but nothing ever really develops.
Do people create great friendships like they did when they were kids after a certain age?
I’ve always felt it is the experiences which draw people really close together. Those experiences where you really learn things about yourself, get into trouble, do stupid things, experiences where you need help and open up to people. Does that really happen after a certain age?
I honestly feel like I may never make a really great friend again, and that scares me a bit.
I like to be open and write about personal things here as much as I can. I’d love it if people would share their thoughts in the comments. Do other people feel this way? Are there ways to make great new friends? Specific things you can do?
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Leigh Drogen is the founder and chief investment officer of Surfview Capital, LLC, a New York based investment management firm employing an intermediate term long/short momentum strategy. More »
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